


crazy for you

by stalecoffee



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Fantasizing, M/M, Masturbation, its the Sogo™ gay guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 08:35:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19866640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stalecoffee/pseuds/stalecoffee
Summary: His breath catches in his throat as he stops on the spread.It’s a picture of Ryuu. He's naked, exposed except for the hand strategically placed over his crotch. He’s laying back on dark red silk sheets holding a bottle of cologne in the other hand above his head. His hair is stuck wet to his forehead, dark and messy as he stares up at the camera through half-lidded eyes and Sogo wonders if his room has always been this hot.





	crazy for you

Sogo grips his bag tightly in his arms, hunched over as if to protect the bag and its contents he heads home, the hood on his sweatshirt pulled down far enough to cover his eyes as he weaves between passersby on the sidewalk. His walk borders on a jog as he nears the dorm, fumbling with his keys in his shaky hands as he slowly opens the front door. He doesn’t announce his arrival as he usually would, removing his shoes carefully and placing them neatly on the mat before heading to his room, bag clutched tightly to his chest. 

He pushes the door to his room open gently, careful not to let the hinges creak as he tiptoes inside. He closes the door quietly, pressing it shut with both hands before he turns the lock on the knob slowly, terrified that indicating his arrival would invite someone to come visit him. Backing away from the door slowly, he sets the bag onto his desk, palms sweating as he retrieves the magazine from his bag. He’d been waiting weeks, months, for this issue to be released since he’d first heard Ryuu mention the shoot.

Magazine in his hands, he moves to his bed, taking a seat and propping a couple pillows behind his lower back before leaning against the wall. He opens the magazine, hands shaking as he flips through the pages quickly, determined to find the advertisement he’d bought the issue for. His breath catches in his throat as he stops on the spread. 

It’s a picture of Ryuu. He’s naked, exposed except for the hand strategically placed over his crotch. He’s laying back on dark red silk sheets holding a bottle of cologne in the other hand above his head. His hair is stuck wet to his forehead, dark and messy as he stares up at the camera through half-lidded eyes and Sogo wonders if his room has always been this hot. 

His mouth goes dry as he stares at the photo, reaching down to trace the lines of Ryuu’s body with the tips of his fingers. Sogo feels his stomach churn, a knot settling at the back of his throat from the guilt as he stares at the picture in front of him. He feels dizzy as he worries his bottom lip between his teeth, glancing to the door nervously, as if someone could catch him at any moment. 

He looks back to the spread and slowly, he reaches down to palm himself through his pants. He knows he shouldn’t be doing this, he does. Ryuu’s his friend. IDOLiSH7’s friend. Tamaki’s friend. He knows this is wrong, knows this is disrespectful to Ryuu, knows how embarrassed he’d be if anyone ever found out. He feels disgusting, even, staring at the semi-pornographic photograph of Ryuu in front of him. His stomach hurts, sick with guilt at what he knows he’s about to do. He rubs at himself through his pants harder, pressing up into his hand as he does his best to memorize every inch of Ryuu in front of him. 

He closes his eyes in defeat as he unzips his pants, setting the magazine down next to him on the bed momentarily. He pushes his jeans and briefs to his ankles, face hot as he quickly folds them and places them at the foot of his bed before doing the same with his shirt. He then reaches to his lower desk drawer, fishing out a bottle of lube, dizzy with embarrassment despite being completely alone.  
He leans back on his bed once again, settling against the wall and carefully constructed mound of pillows, knees bent close to his chest as he pours a generous amount of lube onto his fingers. He sets the bottle down next to him on the bed, keeping it close in the event that he needs more. 

He inhales shakely, picking up the magazine again in his free hand and using the pointer finger on his other to press into himself slowly. He keeps his eyes fixated on the spread as he slowly begins to fucks himself, drinking in the sight of Ryuu, vulnerable and spread out and Sogo can’t help but wish he was the one above him. He studies Ryuu’s body, wide and dark and muscular, a stark contrast to Sogo’s. He imagines running his hands up Ryuu’s thick stomach, dragging his fingers along the lines of Ryuu’s abs and across his chest as Ryuu lays beneath him. 

He can hear his heart pounding in his ears as he presses a second finger into himself, getting progressively more desperate with each thrust of his hand, stomach aching with a mixture of pleasure and guilt as he grips the magazine in his free hand so hard the pages begin to crinkle. He imagines the fingers inside of him are Ryuu’s, stronger and thicker than his as he pulls them out, stretching them enough that it aches in just the right way. 

He knows Ryuu would be gentle with him, careful not to hurt him. He knows Ryuu would ask if he’s alright; he can imagine the furrow of Ryuu’s eyebrows, the concentration on his face as he’d finger him. He’d be sure to pleasure him; he’d make sure this was about Sogo. Sogo’s stomach churns with a mixture of pleasure and disgust as he presses his fingers against his prostate. He knows Ryuu would never do any of this with him, knows Ryuu’s never thought of them as anything but friends. He knows he has no place to be thinking about Ryuu in this way, no place to be fantasizing about him like this. 

He pushes his guilt aside to make room for a third finger, beads of sweat beginning to form on his forehead as he pulls his knees closer to his chest. His cock is heavy and red, aching as beads of precum leak generously onto his stomach. He fucks himself faster, curling his fingers to brush at his prostate with every thrust of his hand. His mind is cloudy, eyes squeezed tight as he fights off his conscience screaming at him to stop and imagines Ryuu fucking him instead. 

He sets the magazine down on the bed before removing his fingers, leaning his head back against the wall and squeezing his eyes shut as he wraps his hand around his cock and begins to pump. He imagines fucking Ryuu, spread out beneath him like in the picture, face red and pupils blown as Sogo fucks into him, hot and tight and wet. He imagines Ryuu’s moans, imagines him slick with sweat as he presses his knees up into his chest. Sogo gasps with each pump, gripping his bed sheets with his free hand as he fucks up into his fist desperately. He imagines Ryuu gasping, eyes squeezed shut as he tells Sogo to come inside of him, that kind, gentle voice desperate and begging for him, for Sogo.

That image is enough to push Sogo over the edge, gasping for air as he comes onto his own stomach, ropes of cum splattering up his abdomen and chest. He covers his mouth with his hand as he fucks himself through his orgasm, jerking his hips as he drags his hand over his sensitive cock. 

He leans his head back against the wall with a dull thud, closing his eyes and wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. He looks down at the magazine next to him, pages crinkled as Ryuu stares back up at him. He can’t quite place the knot in his stomach as he stares down at the photo, this time with a clear head, settling somewhere between disgust, guilt, and post-orgasm bliss. He closes the magazine silently and quickly tucks it away into his desk drawer along with lube. He knows he should get rid of it, should pretend he’s never even seen the spread; erase the image completely from his mind. He hesitates for a moment, glancing to the drawer before reaching for a tissue to clean himself up.

As long as it doesn’t happen again, what harm could come from keeping the magazine, he asks himself as he reaches for his clothes. He'd just bought it- it would be wasteful to throw it out now, he bargains. He promises to himself that this is the first and last time as he'll do something like this, knowing all too well he’s making a promise he doesn’t intend to keep.

**Author's Note:**

> ive been trying to write this for the past like 2 months and im just so over it so.... here u go 
> 
> its not mentioned or important rly but my ryuu is always trans thank u very much 
> 
> thank u for reading and yeah......... this fic is named after a taemin song


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